I'm
sittin' down here, at the stripper pit
and I'm doin' somethin' close to
nothin'.Got a couple of lines out,
fishin' for and wind and water
still,holdin' bluegill, catfish, bass and
hook hang up grass and somethin' close to
nothin'.There ain't nothin' better than
an old minin' pit to fish out of, bout as
deep as the wounds of Christ, more
crevices and folds than these Warrick
County hill rolls and landscape hopes, a
labyrinth of limestone dens, for livin'
things to hide and whisper in, tastin'
somethin' close to freedom. Far from the
state water holes, overfished, shallow as
mosquito eye mist, supposedly stocked,
yet teaming with somethin' close to
nothin'. Plus ya gotta buy a license, to
hang yer hook in hopes for nothin' and I
did once buy a license when I was livin'
in Tennessee, for $19 a year, thinkin',
"jeeze luweeze! I better catch $19
in fish this year". As much as I
could, I went, pullin' up minnows if I
pulled up anything at all, never could
relax and fell way short of my $19 in
fish flesh. Thus vowing never to pay for
anything of God's again that the
government was tryin' to rent out. So,
for my fine healthy one big muscle coal
pit flipin' fish, I pay somethin' under
nothin'.And down here at the pit of my
silent friend James, I gots my little
cane pole along with my reels, just
dropped it in and rammed the holdin' end
into the mud, let it sit and bend like a
weeping cane willow and check it every
once and a while.
One of my
fishin' buddies down in Tennessee who was
from Chickasaw County, Mississippi,
laughed at me when he saw me pull out my
cane pole from my little Datsun's hatch.
So I had to stop his little Mississippi
shy chucklin' when I told him bout one of
the earliest times I can remember my
Daddy takin' me fishin' to a local pit. I
had my little cane pole, since I was
little of course, and Dad had his fancy
reels and flashy lures. And after about
the 23rd fish I pulled in to his one, my
Dad said reachin' for my cane pole and
tossin' his reel to the side, "Here,
let me see that thing". And our
bellys that night were somethin' close to
bustin'. These are some of my fondest's
memories of me and my father when I was
young, goin' fishin' and not bringin'
moma or my sisters along. I could be my
daddy's only child for a few hours and it
seemed he eased his guard and stiffness
down and said funny things he wouldn't
ordinarily say, stuff moma wouldn'ta
approved of and stuff my sisters would've
repeated. The only kinda sour trip was
when before we left to go, mom was fryin'
chicken and I was tryin' to steal a piece
out of the pan. Mother or somebody came
inta the kitchen, causin' me to fling the
chicken back into the pan and a bunch of
burnin' grease got splashed inta my hair.
My scalp was burned some but I wouldn't
tell no one since that would only have me
hurtin' on both ends. And it was that
night when me and dad was sleepin' in his
utility truck at the lake that my dad
said in the midst of heavy sniffin',
"What's that smellin' like
chicken?". Of course I had to
confess and after Daddy felt the grease
in my hair, he made me stick my head in
the lake until all the grease was
somethin' close to not stinkin'.And it's
somethin' close to Christ's second
greatest commandment to take somebody
fishin'. I took my wife not a month after
bein' married and she ended up catchin'
more fish than me on the first trip and
reported it promptly to my fishin' mentor
Grandpa Buchanan, that very night. He
welcomed her to the family. And it was
somethin' close to sweet to watch my
little city soul friend Kristen fish for
the first time. Her on the Harpeth of
Tennessee, gettin' the hang of castin'
and gettin' unhung and then cursin' the
small fish for silently nibblin' of the
worm without her knowin'. It's like
watchin' somethin' close to bein' born
again. I'm digin' the silence and peace
of the pit, the solitude specially since
evenin' is creepin'.
Though
I love just about all people and romp and
weave in the tales and discourse of the
mouth, it's somethin' sometimes to hear
somethin' close to nothin'.My grandpa
Buchanan would have it no other way. You
see, again when I was very little, Robert
C. would take me to all kinds of farm
land private ponds and would always say
that I shouldn't talk cause that'd scare
the fish away. I took that as comin' from
the mouth of a field and stream sage and
would be so quiet, swallowin' to avoid
coughin' and when goin' fishin' with
other friends and family, be the keeper
of the quiet, noddin' to people's yakin'
til they got the hint. But one day very
so recently, me and grandfather were up
in Lynnville at Brother Reed's little
lake doin' a little fishin' and Robert C
was talkin' and laughin', close to never
breathin'. I brought up what used to be
his cardinal rule and asked 'em what was
up with this? To which he slowly
"hmmm"ed and said, "I did
tell ya that, didn't I? Think about it
neighbor". I can only laugh at the
tired old man and wordy little kid of a
few years ago. And the best thing bout
retirin' for grandpa is at age 65, the
federal government says, "Ok, you
don't hafta buy a fishin' license now.
Yer old, you've earned it, so fish for
free here in yer last few years".
Which
gets me thinkin' bout my $19 and am
gettin' close to cranky. Which reminds me
of the most important lesson I ended up a
learnin' from my $19 fish quest. I was so
obsessed with catchin' fish, I'd have
three or four lines in the water at once,
as to increase my chances you see. I'd
have a nightcrawler on a floater for
bluegill, crickets or chicken livers on
my bottom lines for catfish and then be
constantly castin' and reelin' some kind
of spinner or rooster tail for bass,
trout or whatever else. And I found
myself doin' somethin' close to workin'.
Sometime after I had given this practice
up, me and Robert C. were doin' some
fishin' in an almost sump like pond and I
noticed my grandpa was messin' with about
four or five lines, hurrin' up and down
the bank to check on each line,
constantly workin' on untanglin' and
refittin' the puzzles that fallin' apart
poles can present and lookin' generally
flustered. I told him my story and
startin' lecturin' bout missin' the whole
point of fishin', though I didn't really
know if he'd really thought I had
anything really to say about the art he'd
been doin' before I was even really a
glimmer in my daddy's eye. But he called
from back home in Indiana bout a month
after the incident and reported, "I
tell ya, I thought about what ya said and
so for the last few weeks I've only been
takin' two poles, been sittin' down while
I'm there and I've never caught so many
fish in all my seventy somethin' years.
Just thought you might want've heard
that." The honor my grandpa had
bestowed on me was one of those things
that make the air taste somethin' close
to sweet.
But
now here at this fishin' hole, the night
quilt has fallen and is settlin' and it
smoothers my anger and excitement, and
quiets me. I continue to fish, though I
see not where I cast my lines, the sounds
found splash tells me enough and I can no
longer see my skin or blood of nations
within, and this is the wisdom of night,
what our eyes should see, reputation and
rumor free, myself I want too much to be
some people, to have an unearned epic, in
the chiseled and vandalized cracks in my
face, for I know the blood rivers of the
Scotch, Irish, Cherokee, German and
French flows into the smoke and ash of my
wind, and was made one and raised by the
love between a southerner and a
midwesterner, and by soil and streams am
an American, and by faith I am the
promised dust of Abraham, though in this
moment I am a flash of breath on the face
of the water and in the night I'm
somethin' close to nothin'. This is my
place, I am bloody dust, an earth and
clay house flickerin', heated by a hearth
of spirit, my night whistlin' is a far
off lightning bug cough, in harmony and
in haunting in this holler, my eyes
studyin' on the sky quilt, heaven's
yonder shinin' through the peerin' holes,
gives me hints and winks on my final
home, ownin' that all I've known, there,
will be as somethin' close to nothin'.
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