Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to loose
Nothing, cialis I mean nothing honey if it ain’t free, viagra no no
Yeah feeling good was easy Lord when he sang the blues
You know feeling good was good enough for me
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.
Kris Kristofferson ‘Me and Bobby McGhee’ Lyrics
A money culture wants the figures, view the bottom line, the sales, the response, it wants a return on its investment, it wants more money.
Art can offer no obvious return. Its rate of exchange is energy, for energy, intensity for intensity. The time you spend on art is the time it spends with you; there are no short cuts, no crash courses, no fast tracks. There is only the experience.
Connect final conclusions?
So after a year on Connect what have I learnt and what have I gained?
Analysing everything that has happened to me this year..most importantly near bankruptcy..staved off by a meagre two hours a week teaching at Trent to start with…has been difficult.
I was on point of quitting at several points and to be honest it was only the ‘prospect’ of ACE asking for the alleged £750 fee back that stopped that happening. If I was sceptical about ‘arts funding’ and its direction before the course now I am even more cynical. Good intentions wrapped in platitudes do not convince me that such schemes really work. I know too much about the ACE funding system for my own good which why I never applied for funds.
The most positive part of course, the mentoring system could I believe work as separate support system (indeed I think there has been a similar system in place run from Leicester).
I have no doubt that many on course (especially those in ‘crafts’ area) found it useful and supportive. I did not and my difficulties financially just exasperated my problems. This not Connect’s fault but it did make me even more sensitive to what I perceived as smug and naive solutions sometimes offered.
I could of course remain silent about all of this but being on the edge of 50 years old I tired of pretence and wishy-washy solutions. I stand by what I say and do totally and am not trying to work my way into any organisation’s good books….especially ACE’s…any quick glance at my art critical blog makes that obvious.
I say it as I see it and believe I making valid points. Some may be uncomfortable with that but if they wish to come back with logical and worked out defences I happy to debate.