Category: Rejection Letters

APRIL SUBMISSIONS

New Policy no USA and Canada mags reduces overall numbers and frankly wasting time.

Here’s this month’s chicken head on the chopping block list…after vetting left with very few opportunities

1. London Grip – Three poems XXX (see below)
   Moon Turned Dark, Houses on the Horizon and Mallory’s Camera
2. Briefly Write – two 16 line poems
   Working on a building of love, London Calling

London Grip: XXX

Been asked to re-submit a poem here for June issue so will do my best to write or find two other poems to go with it. Then this within one hour of submitting and 4 hours BEFORE deadline and apparently forgetting asked me to resubmit a poem ..

I have been rejected in a frankly bizarre message which states that despite a ‘very good poem ‘ (only bit he got right) I am at fault for not being on message with a theme which only arises when said theme occurs to the editor in process of editing. This duly increases control of said editor many times and makes him look even more god-like ( Or Emiritrus Professor ) in his position than he already considers himself. Oh magazine badly designed looks 20 years out of date and basically a soap-box for his own agrandisement.

Sometimes I grow tired of poets…especially arrogant incompetent ones.
This destination is permanently shelved in fucking useless box….oh and if want to complain about this content go ahead I will take piss even more ..

Still didn’t waste three very good poems on a shit magazine so every cloud has a silver lining.

Frogmore Papers : X
Post only which is sweet and as I was accepted via post in 1990s by I believe the same person (nowt else them days) I suppose not so bad I missed the post date totally….

Oxford Poetry: X FEES
Another blast from the past although it didn’t charge me £3.50 or more last time (1993). Therefore ignored this time if wish to see more about the magazine the Submittable portal shows this
https://duotrope.com/magazine/oxford-poetry-10349

Amsterdam Quaterly : X
Theme Vibrations……I hate theme bollocks and I do not vibrate…

Beaver Magazine X (USA)
Unfortunate name…Seems to be USA based but could be Canada hard to tell. Good use of wordpress looks good.

Briefly Write :
UK -based clear guidelines looks OK. Look like care and not just doing what they told post CW MA as so many do. Also have some idea about design.

Consilience : X
Now closed just as well mind-numbingly complicated process I know science related but need a degree?
Issue 17 is now closed for submissions of both poetry and artwork.

Empty House Press X (USA)

OK allow simultaneous hard to judge magazine natural world emphasis in photographs. USA based. Out as USA cannot be arsed.

Porridge XXX
UK soley Post Creative Writing degree group so fairly young
ALL female editors.
There are NO men in art section which frankly pretty awful hence no I shall not bother is a club for females ( trans )only.
Put it on your masthead then…

I found a male name on a poem BUT it Trans about becoming a butterfly..oh dear…

If it Porridge it full of pink and sparkly bits really….

The Shore: XXX (USA)
USA based I think slightly older than fresh faced grads use of images worrying. Use of sea pictures always suggest Suffolk middle-class to me. OH USA based fresh-faced grads who probably like to live in Norfolk. Career building so give it a miss too…it incresingly easy to spot banged together magazines wiht poor graphics set up to publish people’s mates under ‘international’ signage. (USA)

SPELLBINDER XXX
Oh dear more new grads shit…their submission guidelines hoorendous arrogant shit to be honest was put off before even finished reading ..

CAREERIST nowt else likes to boast about how well it doing bet actual poetry fucking awful. They wouldn’t know art or good design if it ran them over…

Spellbinder was founded in 2020 by a group of students based in England, who had first met at the Durham University Creative Writing Society.  How nicey middle-class. File by Porridge I hate these kind of fake magazines.

HUMANA OBSCURA: XXX

So Obscura hard to tell if real or a scam..no names and an identity taken from free theme sources online…its first anthology focusses on BLUE

that it I out….

THE JOURNAL USA: X USA

Phew a proper magazine at last

Decent magazine varied content know what doing. easy to spot after a while…

Submitting poetry to magazines these days seems to be akin to buying a lottery ticket or as I remember as a child filling in the football coupon with Xs….

Here are March Xs on the coupon…

So far the score is not good

Magazines Submitted to Jan- February- 10

Rejections – 10

However the average success rate of submission windows that run into thousands literally is below 10%…..according to the magazines themselves nice to let me know..here examples from two replies..

We print less than 1% of the poems sent in each call,

We received a large number of submissions, only 10% of which will comprise the next edition.

So on that basis the best hit rate mathematically is 10 acceptances for every 100 mags submitted to…..at most in fact nearer 1% or 0ne in a hundred acceptances which says it all really..

I do only do online free submissions so at least there not the cost of stamps as in the old days.

Over a two year period 1992-4 I kept records of paper submissions.

The hit rate then was about 10 in a hundred so it looks like chances due to volume are bout one tenth of what they were in 1990s if I being optimistic my feelings is it now really about 1% of what it was ten there more poets out there now than potholes…

This because of pure numbers the increase in people self-identifying as poets has probably increased by a factor of a thousand plus.

MARCH SUBMISSIONS

So here we go

Current SCORE

Potential Magazines this month = 14

Actual number submitted = 7 Rejections so far = 7

Banshee X(Ireland) Instant hit as designed by someone who knows how to design a cover and it Irish..that enough to submit end of…

Firewords (Scotland) I like Scotland it produced better writers over last 100 years than England and that a self-evident truth…

London Magazine X (Poetry Prize submission £10 a poem ) No I do not pay to enter anything …too mean and too sensible. They rejected me politely last month for a free submission I do not need to pay to be rejected when I can get it for free…free market economics..

Magma X (Themed ‘Grassroots’ not a good theme ) Very worthy but I don’t write social work poems….or do therapy worksops…or save whales very often..I do what I can and like most sane people bemoan the mess the Tories have made of these islands…

Shearsman X
By the time you read through the fairly arrogant tosh that the editor throws at you you pretty much feel like torching the whole thing. Oh and if they have to tell you they publish more women now it says it all really…

Also the editor handily tells you that nobody gets published until they have evidence of a period of being published thereby establishing a fan base to sell the fucking things ( although 99% of all poetry sells fuck all..) which happened with my Salt pamphlet which contained 20 years of published poems and sold 62 copies.

So cheers at present rejection rate I be six feet under long before I have the smattering of published poems required. Which why I self-publish and say bollocks to that system….submitting is a fun game nothing more and there some good stuff out there just have to dig deep.

OneArt (usa) XXXXX

Cool faux pop art look even cooler response times which makes me suspicious. Overall design lacking is basic at best suggests grad student building own profile job. Ha not even that actually quite an operator and CV builder on own. This mag is pretty fake and a prop to his ambitions basically…..not unlike a few similar people this side of the pond.

Response within 24 hours was a stone cold auto-respond so suspect he (not they) read bio do not read work . Ah checked all their recently accepted work and yup Bio derived acceptances or they just so good at picking every acceptance with a good bio..ha ha ha ..no wonder they turn around so fast . Not a single poet (80% female by the way but that could just be state of play right now as no overt feminist flags) on their acceptance list had less than a fully developed CV .

Oh and he can help you be a better poet..indeed…
For that to be the case we have to look at his work
These three poems by ********** explore the subjective nature of reality…
I not going to present here but what follows are three pretty awful poems which figures…..made me laugh out loud.

I will not be troubling OneArt again …good thing is can dismiss as crap quickly and re-purpose to somewhere half decent instead 🙂

Full House Literary X

Very nice personalised reply good people to do business with will certainly send again in future.

Trans Non Binary friendly young guns mag part of Bad Betty/Broken Sleep wokeism. Terribly twee but then a generation that never worked and spends time networking has never really got its hands dirty. Closer to modern music than poetry as I knew it but that not such a bad thing. Submitted but would never expect to be published as for them it like trying to comprehend their grandfather’s point of view but then some grandfathers are still cool like Patti Smith ..

Ditto.

Stone of Madness Press X
is a physical [online] and conceptual space for queer, trans, and neurodiverse writers. I not in that tribe but a clear masthead and purpose again thank you for clarity and all the best.

Swim Press X
is an independent publisher and magazine
established in 2021 by a group of four Lancaster University
friends. (clarity and honesty well done).

All women editors so probably slanted toward feminist perspective.

It reminded me of a Creative Writing course I walked away from where too many sublimated sexual desire stories being written by young women to be healthy ( Wolves tore my clothes etc)..whilst amusing I not going to send any such story to a theme of ‘Desire’ but all best…from small acorns mighty oaks grow could be new generation Virago in 10 years so don’t knock em..

Muleskinner Press X

Despite my kind words a kindly worded rejection which did not appear to auto-respond will try again.

Made me laugh which not a bad thing these days and so American it could be an Americana music journal even the name….submitted three ‘reckless’ i.e. unpublishable anywhere else pieces that maybe the Yanks get but probably not…the best editorial CVs I seen in a while and a fucking relief after wading through the usual BMCC stuff * (British Middle Class Cosy). What the hell they will make of me god knows but hell they got Trump to deal with..I should be easy 🙂

Thimble literary Online X

Same as above not much of a reply but not stupid or asking fro money which a bonuds these days woudl consider again.


Well designed know what doing another USA based magazine which mixes the music and art worlds into mix my kind of people…bit confused by submissions page and suspect already closed but sent them some poetry anyway. Likeably laid back submission page without the usual rigorous delineation of sending ..

Moss Puppy: XXXXX
Young uns with no sense of design values chucked together at WIX which means pretty unprofessional..in time maybe improves but looks like thrown together by 12 year olds ..actually most 12 year olds could do better.

Really am I going to submit to something that looks like a teenager’s bedroom..no…even the name is Twee Crap as is the stoopid themes idea…oh and the fanart section well words fail me…they really do…makes Deviant Art look interesting.

Propel: X

Stated Ian MacMillan read submission even though submiittable says not which looks like bullshit but there you go my poems always been better then that professional northern clown anyway…who seems to be setting up a dynasty such is the power of celebrity poets they can breed themselves…can’t wait for GoggleBoxPoets

Serious stuff which a relief after last farago…(which I believe was the name of a Poetry Magazine once will have to check).

So serious I doubt I stand a chance until Faber come knocking but worth further reading and as have two days to do so will investigate further….looks very good.

Hell I even heard of some of guest editors and they are my age …its a start and maybe a small shaft of light at the end of the tunnel 🙂 Submitted all six of my father’s things poems.

I wanna be Rejected….

I’m your top prime cut of meat, I’m your choice,
I wanna be rejected,
I’m your yankee doodle dandy in a gold Rolls Royce,
I wanna be rejected,
Kids want a savior, don’t need a fake,
I wanna be rejected,
We’re all gonna rock to the rules that I make,
I wanna be rejected,rejected,rejected.